You Said "Yes!", Now What? Top 10 Things to Do When You Get Engaged.

Hello Friend!

Looks like you’ve got a pretty new piece of jewelry on your left ring finger and can’t stop staring at it! CONGRATS! You’re OFFICIALLY a bride-to-be!! Now you don’t have to stop feeling weird about having a full-blown Pinterest wedding board - make it public, girlfriend! If you're like I was, as a newly engaged bride-to-be, you can’t wait to start turning those beautiful ideas floating around in your head into reality. Hold your horse-drawn carriage for a second, though, because there are a few things you should do before going into full-on wedding planning mode.

Here are my top ten things you should do right after you get engaged (plus a few stories from my early engagement . . . enjoy.):

1. Tell Your People Personally - I don’t know your engagement story, but your new fiance may have proposed privately, or maybe he had your entire family and friends in on it. Either way, take the time to share the excitement with those closest to you. Call your parents, your siblings, your best friends, or whoever else is in your circle. You wouldn’t want them finding out you're engaged on Facebook before telling them personally, would you? Hold off on posting the exciting news on social media until after those you care about most about are in on it. Don’t forget to ask them to respectfully wait to share the news on their social pages until you’ve done so.

2. NOW You Can Post the News: Even if you don’t tend to share much of your life on social media, these are the occasions people are excited to hear about! If you have a Facebook or Instagram account, take the time to change your relationship status to “engaged”, post a sweet picture of the both of you. Share your engagement story or a picture of your ring if you feel so inclined.

Personal story: I remember my husband (fiance then) and I changing our Facebook status to “engaged” at the same time - counting down so that we both made the change at the same time. For some reason, we didn’t want one of us to post it before the other did . . . we were really young . . . but it’s a great memory!

3. Decide on When You’d Like to Get Married: This might seem like a no-brainer, but the first question people will ask is “have you set a date?” and more often than not, there’s no answer to give! I’m not saying you have to set a permanent date, but sit down with your fiance and discuss what time of year, what season or month you’d like to get married in. Most couples already have an idea before they get engaged, but many times this changes with the reality of an impending wedding!

For instance (another personal story here): We got engaged in January, I had it in my head that we’d have a fall wedding … September 28th to be exact! But after a long talk . . . in a Mexican restaurant, might I add . . . we decided that March of the following year would be better for us. Communication is key, people.

4. Discuss a Budget: Speaking of open communication, this is one of the toughest conversations to have. Unless you’re lucky enough to be in the position where a budget is no object, you have to sit down and have a real talk with those who may be contributing. You may have an idea about how much you think the budget should be, but your Fiance might have another. Talk you your parents or other relatives (if they’re involved) - not to ask them for money - but to lay the topic out on the table and find out if/how they are planning to contribute. They may just surprise you! (good or bad, I don’t know - but you better find out soon).

5. Discuss Your Wedding Size: This has to be done before choosing a venue, or any other planning can happen. Communicate with your fiance, but also remember to include your parents in this discussion too. Many couples find that their idea of a small wedding with 50 guests can quickly blow up into a 200+ guest list when their parents are involved. If they’re contributing to your wedding fund, then they may be at liberty to add to the guest list but don’t forget to put up boundaries where necessary.

For instance (here comes another personal story): After my husband and I asked our families to come up with a list of guests they’d like to invite we found ourselves looking at a 500 person guest list! We couldn’t afford more than 150, so we walked through our parents’ lists and removed people that didn’t match our criteria. Of course, they protested, so we gave them the option to add to our budget if they wanted their second cousin’s girlfriend's brother there. . . we didn’t hear much about it after that. Again, communication is key!

6. Create a Wedding-Only Email: This is one of the most overlooked steps, but most people find it super helpful through their planning process. The very first thing I ask my clients to do before we start working together is to create a wedding-only Gmail address that they can share. Come up with an address like jackandjillsayido@gmail.com or ourwedding18@gmail.com - you can be creative.

I choose Gmail because then we can create a shared google drive, where planning resources can be shared and files can be uploaded. This also allows them to create a wedding-only google calendar for appointments and deadlines. This will help by creating an avenue of communication, and it’ll allow you to separate your wedding planning life from your regular, everyday life. You’ll also find that after the wedding is over you’ll keep receiving promotional emails, and that’ll just get annoying after a few months/years, so you have the option to close that account.

7. Choose Your Bridal Party: Make sure you have an idea of your wedding size before you choose how many people you want in your bridal party. If you're planning to have 60 guests, you may not want a very large bridal party. Decide who your maid of honor and best man will be if you decide to have one. Remember, it’s your wedding and you can do whatever you want! It’s easy to get caught up in trying not to hurt people’s feelings, but it’s your day in the end.

8. Check Out Upcoming Bridal Shows/Expo: Bridal Expos and trade shows can be a great place to meet vendors, find inspiration and learn more about your local resources. Many of them have contests, fun activities and fashion shows. Take a chance to check one out!

9. Gather Inspiration: As a DIY Bride, you probably already have your whole wedding concept planned out. On the other hand, you may have an overload of pins on your Pinterest board or not one solid idea at all. Take time to clean up your inspiration board or add to it. Get a sense what you’d like your wedding to look, feel and even smell like. Don’t forget to include your fiance in this. You’ll be surprised at the input he might have.

10. Celebrate!: Last, but most definitely not least, don’t forget to celebrate! You don’t need a formal or elaborate engagement party to do this but you still want to take time to celebrate your newly engaged status. This is (hopefully) the only chance you’ll get to celebrate a new engagement! Go out to dinner with family and friends, have a house party, game night, whatever floats your boat.

Enjoy the journey, my friend, It’s you’re special time - take it all in and make the most of it!

Happy Planning!,

Your wedding planning BFF